A letter from May 20, 2025

Dear Future Me, Hey Hannah, I hope you are doing great. I really really hope you are in a better place now. I don't know a year from now where you will be, how well you are, employed/unemployed, committed/single, but I really want you to look back at life once you receive this mail. This me in May 2025 is looking up to you. I want this phase of my life to pass. I wish things get better soon. If you really make it next year, you must be proud of yourself of all they challenges, trauma, and everything you have gone through. This mail should be a reminder of what you faced, and what you overcame. This me is sad. Since Papa's ***** in Feb, I feel lonely, even though I have my friends and family. The fact that I lost both my parents to Cancer, and now I am a orphan, is eating me from inside. Everyone looks at me with pity. Even they find it hard to believe how life can get this cruel. Sometimes it amazes me how I remained sane for the past few months. I am unemployed. Its been 7 months since I resigned. I have applied to 100+ jobs, but unfortunately not received even one interview call so far. I have started to doubt my degrees, my talent, abilities and god. For past 2-3 days, I feel like I am rotting, I feel like god has abandoned me. I am not able to cry anymore. I just don't know what to do.. I want to believe firmly that god will find a way, at the right time things will workout, But I have begun to loose faith. I feel life and god, has been unfair to me, to me and my sister. I am finding it difficult to hold on. At least if I could get a job, things would be better. I have started to worry about my household expenses. I am really lost. The fact that not even one interview call happened is disturbing. My family and friends just want to hear that good news. And I feel like I am disappointing them. I shouldn't have resigned. Please please listen to me.. no matter what your job is like in future, do not resign without another offer in your hand. Hold on. Because being jobless sucks.. you just feel like a useless piece of ****. I wish things have changed for you.. because you deserve it hannah.. for all that you have suffered in this 25 years of age, god has to bless you. You are a good person, you deserve to be happy again, to get rich, and live the life you want. You do have your parents blessings. Stay Happy, Be proud of yourself.