A letter from May 19, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Right now I am in English class. Its May 19, 2025 and I'm currently in 10th grade. You'll probably be in 11th grade in regular classes because I am to scared to try new things and challenge myself. You probably are very unhappy and stopped being friends with ismahan, and are not close with Allah. You probably finshed the quran but dont rememebr half of anything, and feel like you disappointed your parents and your peers. You probably do good in Math because of your tutor but you dont fully know what you want to be in life. What I want to be in Life is a Radation Therapist. But I dont know in my Heart if I can do it. I feel like an Imposter because people expect good things from me but I can enevr deliver on it, I could be ona 1 day streak of just win after win but with just one loss I feel like the worlds ending in of itself. I feel lost and sad. I want to be happy but I know its because I gave up on my faith, I am sorry. I right now have a 3.09 gpa (yeah had to add the 9 in there) and I dont feel so good, some of my classmates have 3.6's and 7's in AVID and there in honors and advanced classes, I regret taking those classes because that dragged down my gpa by a lot. I'm probably yapping and projecting but I just know I'll never improve so I dont care honestly. I know you'll still be misreable just like me Love, Past Maryama