A letter from May 19, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Just writing this because I know how it always goes :) and I know by now you won’t even know who I’m talking about and that’s healing! I guess it’s nice to know you can like someone again. And nice to know you can like boys? I do feel a bit like I’m coming back to myself by being bi again. Nothing against lesbianism, I was really proud to identify as one, but it does feel right to say I’m bi again. And I’ve made big strides in dating I guess ever since I started again. But at some point, and idk why this is too much to ask, I’d like to find someone, like them, and for that to be mutual. I’d like dating to not feel like war and a million mismatches. I’d like to feel lucky to find someone and for them to feel lucky to have me. And I’m not gonna or I’m gonna try not to spiral. I’m not gonna chase a man. Whatever happens, he knows I want to see him, whatever. And I don’t feel embarrassed for being honest with myself and with him. And I like that I didn’t have to convince myself of anything or seek out a couple things I maybe liked about him. I know I like him. I know there’s a million icks I could get but none of them matter because they’re trivial and he’s a good person and I like him. It’s cool that someone can make me feel a lil bubbly. But it’d be cool for that to be mutual with someone someday. That’d be pretty cool. So a year from now feels like a good check in. If he’s still in my life? That’s crazy. But I know he won’t be.