A letter from May 14th, 2025

051425
I hope na mapakita ko 'to sa'yo, Jeo. 
my dream: 2 red rigs supposedly a white toyota hilux, me with ongfam is going for a random trip in a random spot, me and jeo was standing in the side of eqch rig, showing our butts to tita janice and tito geo, (diba sobrang random) after a minute we decided na umalis na, me and jeo were in a one roof together, i held jeo’s hands romantically and during our trip mag kahawak lang kami ng kamay. during a long long trip, napadpad kami sa magandang view ng tagaytay, a lot of pineapples, and yet were still holding our hands. while driving, tito geo suddenly stopped sa side ng gubat, and we saw a mysterious books, in 90s pa yon, a book about guitars and others. after that, we decided na lumipat sa truck, but nasa roof pa rin kami, kasama namin si dongdong, ate mafe and of course, jeo. katabi ko si dongdong sa harap kami and si jeo nasa taas ko siya, i, suddenly held his hands again. my hands were so pasmado that im so shy to hold his. after ng mahabang trip, we decided to stop sa church to surrender that “book” na napulot namin. me, jeo and tito geo lang ang bumaba, nag libot libot muna kami doon while me and jeo were sided with each other, i held his hands and i was playing with it, held his arms and hold his hands, me in white dress, he with black masid shirt and pants. we’re peacefully walking in a church full of trees and circular form chairs. not even a words came into our mouth, just walk silence, and our warm hands laying together. until, inabot kami ng gabi, we decided to go home na. jeo’s side walking me and making sure na hindi ako mababangga ng mga tao, with respect ang paghawak niya sa waist ko, not using his hands but using it with a fist para i respect ako. and that ends our night together, nagising na’ko ng katotohanan, sana totoo nalang. i love you and i miss you jeo..
I had a dream—so vivid, so random, but so warm and full of love.
There were two red rigs, and supposedly, one of them was a white Toyota Hilux. I was with the Ongfam, and we were about to go on a spontaneous trip to a random destination. It felt like an adventure waiting to unfold. Jeo and I were standing on the sides of each rig, playfully showing our butts to Tita Janice and Tito Geo—silly, right? It was such a random and funny moment that made us all laugh.
A minute later, we decided to hit the road. Jeo and I found ourselves sitting together under one roof of the rig. I reached for his hand and held it gently, romantically. During the entire ride, we never let go. Our fingers were intertwined, silent but warm, saying everything we didn’t need to speak.
The journey was long, stretching through winding roads and peaceful scenery, until we found ourselves in Tagaytay. The view was breathtaking. Fields of pineapples stretched across the land, and the cool air kissed our cheeks. Still, we held hands.
As we drove deeper into a forested area, Tito Geo suddenly stopped the truck at the side of a dense woodland. Something had caught his eye—a set of mysterious books, seemingly lost in time, dating all the way back to the 90s. One book was about guitars and music, filled with aged pages and forgotten stories. We picked it up, unsure of its purpose, but it felt important.
After that, we moved to another truck, still seated on the roof. This time, we were joined by Dongdong, Ate Mafe, and of course, Jeo. I sat beside Dongdong in the front, and Jeo was right above me. My hand reached up to find his again, despite my own hesitation. My palms were so sweaty—pasmado—and I was shy to touch him, but I still did. I couldn’t help it.
The journey continued, until we decided to stop by a quiet church to surrender the book we had found. Only me, Jeo, and Tito Geo went down. The church was beautiful—surrounded by trees, with circular chairs placed around like a quiet gathering of souls. Me in a white dress, Jeo in his black Masid shirt and pants. We didn’t say anything, just walked peacefully side by side, our hands still gently clasped together. I played with his hand, tracing lines on his skin, holding onto his arm, then back to his fingers. There was something sacred in that silence, like we both knew that moment mattered.
Nightfall came. We realized it was time to go home. As we walked back, Jeo moved closer to me, protectively guiding me through the crowd. He didn’t use his hand to hold my waist—instead, he formed a respectful fist, resting it gently to ensure I was safe without overstepping. That gesture meant the world to me. It was filled with respect, care, and quiet love.
And then the dream faded, replaced by the light of morning.
I woke up to reality… the truth that it was just a dream. But in that dream, I was loved deeply and gently. I held onto something real, even if only in my sleep.
Jeo, I love you. I miss you. Sana totoo na lang.