A letter from May 14, 2025

As I sit here, I try to figure out where all this pain comes from. It hurts so much and at the same time I feel the numbness in my soul... a numbness that refuses to leave entirely. A numbness that takes away my strength to continue fighting, there's no purpose, I just want it to be over already. It's so cold and lonely here, not even the morning sun can take away all this darkness... everything is meaningless. I feel stuck in a continuous loop, some days are better, but deep down I can't overcome this feeling. What is my purpose? Even the stray cat that used to visit me and brighten my day stopped coming. He was my reason to continue fighting, because he depended on me and now he rarely shows up. And my plants are thriving because I can't bring myself to leave them, it would be selfish of me to let them die, even though deep down my soul is the one who has died....