A letter from May 13, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I have a feeling. One I don't like. I have a feeling my friends don't like me. But actually hate me. We're too different and any time we get close to having a deeper conversation it just goes to *****. I know it's not true but sometimes I think they have no sense of empathy. zero. I don't look at someone and have my immediate reaction be one of revulsion and laughter. I physically recoil at even the though of me doing such a thing. Treating someone as less than an equal, a human being. I hate it. I hate it when they laugh and giggle and point but give no other sign they're not talking about me. making fun of me. I feel they only like me when I'm like them. But I won't push a part o myself away, break myself and mold myself into a more easily digestible version of myself. They can choke on me. They can choke on my ''too''-muchness.