A letter from May 09, 2025

today i realized it's my fault it's all my fault why we stopped being close? i just talked about my troubles and probably burdened him why i didn't get the place i wanted? i was overconfident why my life is a fvcking mess? i can't do anything right why my parents hate me? i'm terribly irresponsible but at the same time when i'm having su!cidal thoughts but my mom just cares about how messy my room is when i lowk think i'm going through depression but my dad just cares about stupid ncssm camp when i feel like everyone hates me but my mom just yells at me for not talking even though my throat hurts so bad when i just want to leave everything i have here but my dad barely acknowledges me unless it's about academics i wish i had a normal life i wish i wasn't such a bad person