A letter from May 08, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Today is Thursday May 8, 2025. You confessed to this dude on Monday April 28, hung out with him TWICE (April 30 and May 2), dapped him up TWICE, and he hugged you ONCE, but he has NOT texted you back since Sunday May 4. That's 4 days honey, you need to get over him. You wished that you had not confessed on that Monday. It was the last day of classes at university and finals would come up within 2 days and you felt like a bullet train with that confession. You never found it a problem that he would text you after midnight until after a few days. You never found it a problem that he would leave you on delivered or read for hours, even after you respond to his message right away or within 10 minutes, until after a few days. You never realized that you were not a priority until Sunday May 4. That explained by he slept in until 2 PM on Thursday, when you thought you two were going to hang out. You hate that you remember talking about birthdays with him, telling him when you were born and him saying "You're older than me" and him saying "I won't remember that" (the day your birthday is on), yet you remember that his birthday was March 10. You hate that you remember what city he is from, yet he cannot remember what city you're from, even after telling him. You hate that you remember him asking you "What is your last name?" and you responding, "You didn't look at my Instagram?" because your name was on there and that was how you were communicating before YOU asked for his number. You hate the way that you remember telling him how his eyes were pretty and he returned it back by saying how your eyes aren't just brown, but like the color of mahogany, with a little red in it. You hate the way that you remember hearing him say that your hair was long, but you told him that it used to be double the current length. You hate the way that you remember him dapping you up, then him pulling you in and you not knowing what to do, but he hugged you and you returned the favor. You hate the way that you remember him holding your right hand with his left after that moment and seemingly not wanting to let go before parting ways. You hate the way that you miss his warmth. You hate the way that when you try to bring a picture of him up in your head, all you can see is him, but faceless. You hate that you remember feeling uncomfortable at times with his statements. There was the roommate statement, banana statement, and the worst, the olive oil statement. Don't try to remember them if you can't, it's for the best. You have already gone out of your comfort zone to make the first move and that is an achievement in itself, since you have only made the first move only once before. You should know that he is not reciprocating your energy over text and that is a sign that you need to let go of that small hope of "he will text you back!" You should let go of that idealized version of him for the sake of your own mental well-being. You should not feel disgusted in your own body after he said those nice things about you, hugged you, and held your hand. You should feel better knowing that it is okay to be vulnerable and cry about what you could have had, but do not hold onto it. Princess G is just a memory at the end of your first year of university. By the time this sends, your second year of university will start soon. Yeah, you'll miss that history major that yaps a lot and doesn't look nerdy but actually is (in your eyes), but by the time you read this, you'll be over him. Be mindful that there is more to life than this or any other emotionally tolling event. Understand that hot water will turn cold when someone else is using it. Know that your energy should be reciprocated. Remember to find value from within yourself, not from others. Signing off, Yourself that just finished freshman year of university 3 days ago