A letter from May 08, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I'm probably at the lowest point in my life right now....I think I may have a gambling addiction as I spend too much time there but it's probably a distraction from feeling down...I also masturbate a lot and spend most of my days in my room isolated from the world beyond our gate.... I'm going to fail my medicine course with 100% certainty because I didn't do most of the exams and I don't even attend lectures...I lie I'm going to school but I use the travel money to just take trips around the city whilst listening to music...I spend another portion of my day in my head imagining nearly impossible scenarios where I'm in control, sometimes I'm a celebrity other times I belong to a kingdom where I'm really powerful...they are fully immersive day dreams which I learnt they are called maladaptive daydream...I think I use them to cope with my stressful life which shouldn't be stressful as I already have the things a person could want in life....I also think I have a low self esteem coupled up with the need to be perfect in the eyes of others..To be honest I'm not sure when I'll start working on my issue....hell I'm even writing this to a person who is similar to me......then why I'm I writing this to you future me... because I have to apologise for the trouble I caused you....when my parents find out I failed for the second time I can't imagine what trouble I caused you...I'm not sure if you are still daydreaming for hours on end but if you are I'm disappointed in us as for the gambling problem I hope you took care of your **** and are probably saving...I don't know what course you are studying in the university but I hope you finally learned what you want in life....I also hope you got through the storm coming your way and learnt something from it.... sorry for being such a **** up..... P.s I know I say I hate myself a lot and have even considered ------ but I envision a bright future for us.