A letter from May 03, 2025

I guess we're bringing this tradition back. Sit down, it'll be wordy—I have much to say. The last time I sent one of these, I was in middle school and received it around 8th grade I believe. I'm nearly done with my first year of actual college now. Crazy how time flies right? Truth be told, I'm terrified. I have so much to do, and only one life to do it. I hope we're not in any kind of depression right now, the last one took years off my life. I hope you're a little closer to understanding how localized cancer can positively affect telomeres, I'd hate to be at the same roadblock I'm at now. I hope you're happy, I hope you remember still why we're doing all this. This last year was heavy, it was heavy in every way I could possibly imagine and I don't know how I still sit here and write to you, but I do. I hope this year has paid off, though. I didn't put myself through hell juggling that stupid warehouse job and college just for you to be on your ***. That being said, I hope you're not too hard on yourself—I often forget I'm only human and so, don't be too angry. I hope mom and dad are okay, this current administration is scary. I don't know what next year will bring, hell I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Dad should be in Canada by now, or at least have made a decision. I hope our tax-lien-property plan is going well, and I hope my portfolio isn't in the *******. I hope I reached the financial stability I dream of so often. I hope my little brother and sister are doing well in their classes, they should be. The boy should have taken his SAT by now, see that he gets at least a 1350 yeah? Remind them not to make the same mistakes you did. Who the hell even thinks to allow themselves to fall asleep on that test. Oh, I'm adding 2 nerite snails to my aquarium today, that should help kick-start the cycle before I begin adding in the low and mid level schooling swimmers. Just ordered the parts to build that aquarium monitor for temperate, pH and hardness. Hope it goes smoothly. Have you found them yet? Have you found home, have you found people like you? I'm so curios. It hurts so much to be alone and I don't want that forever. It's cruel. I lost touch with many friends this year, some very close to me. I hope they're doing okay too, I hope they remember my good alongside my bad. I wasn't a very nice person this year. So egotistical, so dismissive. I want to wallow in my self-hate, but that will achieve nothing so all I can do is continue to walk and remember. Are you in the honors college yet? What are we thinking transfer wise? It's a pipe dream I know, but there's no harm in applying to MIT. God, I still have so much to do, and it's all so heavy. It'll be okay though, right? Is everyone this scared when they're 19? I think so, yeah. I just thought maybe, I would be an exception. My thoughts are all over the place and I'm rambling, I know. It's funny, the word rambling reminds me of someone. Do you still keep in touch? Well, whatever—bon voyage or something. "If I must be something, let it be something of my own creation" remember that one, if there is anything you will.