A letter from Apr 29, 2025

101 Essays that will change the way you think. pg67 A list of things you have done for yourself recently. Asked for help when i thought I would not get it. I chose to push past the shame and tell the individuals who were offering me help with my addictions some truths that I wasn't willing to admit before. The shame was debilitating but I shared confidential things with public officials and people. this was necessary to stick to my values as someone who values justice. Unfortunately this means that I may face the consequences of my actions and that's ok. I did my absolute best to take my medications, Attend AA and communicate with strangers things that were embarrassing and shameful. My review panel is coming up soon and I will have to be equally honest, as honest as I have been with my doctor, spiritual advisors and everyone else. I am proud of myself for the attempts at complete and public honesty. Unfortunately I failed my 90/90 but I don't need perfection to make a humble life and that is a welcome acceptance. Getting to inbox 0 It felt like loosing everything and not belonging anywhere, it was completely debilitating and I lost all hope in myself and the people I love. At my lowest moment I got calls but that feels like cheating. I was sad, and in complete panic because no-one would care for me anymore. It took me to the point where i attempted to take my life twice. Thankfully I didn't and im finding things to live for. It showed me that i am a person ho lives according to my word as best I can. When I fail i pick myself up and I try again. even if that means The complete loss of my freedom, I will be redeemed. It made me spiritual and I want to connect with that entity that is reaching out to me.