A letter from Apr 28, 2025

Dear Future Me, Assalamualaikum! Wait, did I just greet myself? I’m not sure if that’s even allowed. Oh well, don’t argue with me! Alright, let me tell you about my current situation. It’s 28/4/25, around 3 AM. I should be studying, but for some reason, I just don’t feel like it. I’m in my first year of college and just got my results. I failed in 4 subjects. What? 4 subjects? How did that happen? I got a GPA of 5 in SSC, but now... I’ve failed 4 subjects? When will I come back from this? How will I bounce back? Do you even want an update on my studies? Please don’t ask; you already know how poorly I prepared. I haven’t even completed 5% of my books yet. Instead, I’m wasting time watching reels on Instagram. Will this ever help me? Right now, I have no real friends. By “friends,” I mean the people I see at coaching centers and talk to casually. There’s no one I can really open up to. But honestly, I’m not sad about it. I’m kind of learning to accept my solitude, even though it’s still a work in progress. I know I have communication problems, and I’m actively working on them. How are you doing? Is this skill any better now? Do you have close friends now? Have you found someone to share your thoughts with? What about your love life—has anything changed? Have you gotten married? Got any new crushes? Have you been working out? Going to the gym? Are you more serious about your career now? Do you still watch movies? I’ve become quite judgmental recently. I wonder if that habit has stuck with you. Let me tell you about my daily routine. When I don’t have anything to do in the morning, I wake up around 12 or 1 PM. Then I spend some time on my phone. After lunch, if there’s coaching, I go. If not, I pass time watching movies or browsing YouTube. At night, I waste more time on my phone or laptop instead of studying. How am I ever going to be successful if I keep this up? The silent expectations from my parents are adding more pressure, and the pressure from college and coaching isn’t helping either. Plus, there’s the invisible pressure from my cousins. Ishayat’s exams seem to be going well, and hopefully, he’ll score good marks. Sahil is also taking exams; I hope he does well too. Rafi is still chasing after girls—who knows when that will change? Mubin is practicing every day. Tanvir is also waiting for a comeback, just like me. I haven’t spoken much to Ariyan lately. Will we talk in the future? I don’t know. If I set a one-year goal, I can make a plan. Right now, I know you’re tired from HSC preparations. By the way, Ishayat, Sahil, Rafi, Mubin, and Tamim—these are the friends I’ve shared really good memories with during school and college. Rafi, Mubin, and I were close friends during school, and in college, Tamim became my good friend. For the Eid vacation, Ishayat and Sahil were my closest friends. These are the people I’ve spent time with, and even though we’re not all as close now, they’ve made my past memorable. If I want, I can reduce some of your pressure. I’ll try my best. Will I be successful? Are you still playing chess? I know you’re not in any relationships right now, but you have this special ability to avoid girls. I think you might need that, just in case. How can I blame the wind when I’m the one who opened the window? 🥺✨ And this: I can’t blame gravity for falling in love with you 🥺✨ I don’t know if these words are enough to express my feelings for you, my future self. One last question: What’s your favorite color? No, that’s not the real question. Do you still remember that person from 2033? Do you still have a crush on them? I don’t know if you’ll ever find this letter, but if you do, smile and say, “Alhamdulillah” for everything. 💝 That’s all for today. Writing to my future self (I know this is a classical ending, but I just wanted to do it). Yours sincerely, SAZID’S Past Self (17th Edition)