A letter from Apr 23, 2025

Dear FutureDad, You may never get this letter but I'm still so hopeful that you will. You've got the CT scan coming up soon to see if your chemo has made any difference. Unfortunately, it sounds like the odds aren't in your favour so while I'm so hopeful I'm not exactly optimistic. You've been so brave during this all and I know you keep saying there is nothing you can do about it so why let yourself get down about it but it is a hard pill to swallow. I keep coming back to thinking about grandpa. You were only 38 when he died. At the time, you seemed like such a grown adult to me but now I think that and just think how young it is to lose a parent and how much of your life he never got to see. It's a sobering reality that I really wish we weren't facing now. Unfortunately, life isn't fair but still... it's so unfair. The girls keep talking about wanting to go down to Universal in the fall. I so hope you're well enough to go. I look at that last trip with grandpa with such fondness and I'm so glad it was something the whole family got to do together. I really hope that the boys will be able to have those kinds of memories with you too. Ultimately though, if you're not feeling up for it then we just go on and make the best of the time that we do have together. I love that you're doing things now while you're healthy enough to do so and enjoying the company of those around you while you can. Whether it's for you and/or those around you, it'll be something we all look back on and appreciate so much. I hate that I'm writing this as if it's too late. I pray that you'll read this next year and think how this was in your past and things are looking up. Or at the very least, extended life that you're still able to enjoy. Whatever happens, I love you so much. You don't have to be strong for anyone - what you're going for is devastating and it's okay to need help. I love you, dad. Sydney