A letter from Apr 23, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Ive been feeling like a disappointment these past few days. And i think im hurting too much. Everybody makes me cry. And i just wanted to feel comforted, I want to feel cared. Im tired yet they still give me a reason to cry. I hope im not so emotional and that i dont think deeply so that it wont make me sad or think anything that is not good for me. I dont control my emotions anymore i just let all the tears stream down to my face. Its so hard to ******* breath that i wish i could die anytime or that i just hope i didnt exist. All this time i really never feel loved and cared for someone who i loved and even after i give my all. Its so ******* unfair that the love i gave was not ******* reciprocated. I give my ******* all and the exchange for all of it was TEARS AND IM TIRED OF BEING TIRED. i dont know what to do. Can someone save me? Im tired of feeling this it makes me sick everything happens for a reason i know? But look it still on me it feels like its stuck there until i grow up I hope it gets better and it will be better. I hope i find someone who will be there for me and will let me be me I just hope someone understands how i think, and how i see things, how i feel and that i wish i get that comfort that i was longing for since i was a kid Im still left out like i was a little I cant tell the things i want to say because i still dont have the courage to show my emotions and that its so hard for me little me looking at me dissapointed, im sorry but i know were trying I want someone to care for me, even tho its hard but still try to find a way to understand me The one who will make me feel loved without asking The one who will love me for who i am and the one that will care for me I just want someone to be my crying shoulder and will be there for me when i cant talk about what i feel or that is patient for me I have so many things in my mind again and it always comes back I have friends but all of it was nothing because i cant do or i cant tell someone about the things that bothering me and that im so tired of living a lif like this and that i just wanna be dead and that when i die everyone will feel sorry from the things that they do to me I really hope i dont think deeply and that i dont feel like this like miserable I wanna escape from these things but i cant i wanna runaway but where? I cant Please lord help me i dont want to be like this forever I still get hurt after all And i still wish youre there for me when i think no ones there and im forever grateful that i can tell you everything and that i know youre listening Pls guide me lord and help me Thank you