A letter from Apr 21, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Well our school did a dumbass move where I can't have access to my old letters? oh well. What's going on for you, I'll tell you what is going on for me... (you?) It is currently Sunday april 20, 2025, it is Easter, siblings weren't here today, as of writing this, I'm listening to morbid mind (Jack kays) and lost (Bring me the horizon). we are almost a senior? that's insane, though I guess by now you already know what college we'll be attending in the fall. UM? maybe not? speaking of UM I did stuff for the summer program today, I long to know how it turns out, makes me nervous thinking about it, kinda worried i'm forgetting something to do for it and i'll miss it. I don't want to go back to school (today was the last day of spring break) and I don't want to study for my AP's or get my math grade back or continue growing up. but oh well. I guess u r almost leaving for CAS soon right? that's so strange to me..... last year was my siblings leaving hs and next year it'll be us. how are the siblings? did sister stop talking about the gnome-man (cruel nickname but he's a red flag for sure), has brother become less irritating lol. I love my siblings and it was really sad not seeing them today since it was Easter morning. The Minecraft movie dropped recently, still haven't seen it, but when visiting our siblings at their colleges we got the mc meal and finally the toy because we are very mature and need more plastic garbage lol (I got the potion which I'm sure u remember and I'll soon put it on my desk). To get real; how's the friend group? I can't help but feel like I don't have friends sometimes because I seldom see them outside my school- not that I don't want to... but I don't try to initiate seeing them and then I just don't.... I don't really care too much and I'm not jealous or anything, just fretting that I'm wasting the "best years" of my life in my room and alone.. or on my phone. I just set a time limit on Insta with a time restraint because surprise surprise downloading a couple months ago might've been my worst decision--- I've never had my phone battery get low before, but now it's always low because I can't get off the ******* app. (now listening to Options by Cameron whitcomb--- yes we're on the "i'm def mentally ill" playlist) as i'm typing I'm thinking of making this letter public.... I might but I'll need to change all the names.... I just kinda did... anyway maybe I'll make this public but anonymous lol. I'm worried to grow up, I can only hope that you are much more mature and capable because I still feel useless and scared. Now that ur senior year is practically almost done--- did you get a job or do theater? I'm still debating what to do with extra time next year, I'm thinking getting a job would be the most beneficial although in theater i'd be able to spend more time with friends. Our dog is currently not doing well, you know which one, I worry for the day he goes--> it'll feel like another part of childhood dying, idk how many childhood tokens are left to lose but I'm not ready lol. How's the world doing politically? the election was last fall and I'm starting to just feel incredibly indifferent about politics.. the same way I already feel about celebrities-- they are all like high schoolers that think they know better than everyone else. I'm worried about the political hemisphere in terms of I don't want a world war and I don't want extreme policial division to lead to more suffering because people can't shut up and get along (Ik ik it's much more complicated than that but still). it is 10:36 pm (22:36) and now we are listening to Worst day by Illenium and max. I don't know what else to say.... I'm still really intrigued as to how this summer will play out.. so much to do and so little time. I hope senior year is/was less stressful, I hope you have/had classes with friends and that you (music is now "Sarah" by your neighbors) weren't nervous to walk into school everyday for no reason, I hope you don't power off your phone anymore because "what if it plays all my embarrassing music" I'm now realizing that if this letter is public I should prolly edit vocab and punctuation but this isn't a freaking English essay so i'm not going to. I hope you have learned in one year to give less ***** and go live in a way that makes you happy and doesn't revolve around blending in. I hope you have a roommate planned for college and are more excited than nervous. I hope you finally cleaned your room because I have no motivation or will to do things besides getting schoolwork done and sleeping currently. I'm going to guess you have bad senioritis and that you don't feel like taking more AP tests in a couple weeks. I haven't studied as is for our this-year AP tests, which I'm sure will be your regret to bear. (song is now R.i.p duskcore BMTH) okay I'm running out of things to say now--- good luck in college, your junior year self is chomping at the bit to get tf out of high school, yet somehow desperate to not grow up anymore so do with that what you will. ew I just realized that like yeah next year is senior year and that obviously entails graduating but like I don't wanna go to that graduation ceremony it's early and the day we are finally freed from hs I don't want to go back the day after what---speaking of doing things the day after school what was your final ACT score... not to be pessimistic but I'm going to assume it's still...... not what we wanted. (<30?) okay now I'm really out of things to say........ oh how was the concert?.... both concerts? okay good luck with life (have you had your wisdom teeth removed? I'm scared about that what if my face doesn't go back to normal?) (Gonna be okay- American teeth) :)