A letter from April 20th, 2025

Dear FutureMe,
Today, April 20, 2025, 24 hours duty, Easter Sunday, remember that you are too emotional.
You are shedding tears every now and then (on duty). Because of the thing that happened in the morning with your parents while getting ready for work. It's not that big, but you know, realizations hit. Those what ifs, and thinking about those unspoken words.
This is just a simple and Normal dispute among us, but then again, when my mom said, "di kuma da kayo umayan toy sakit ko". I stopped for a second, I scolded her the last time she said it, and I wanted to scold her again but I stopped and didn't say anything. (Note, she's talking to me and to my father)
My dad also need operation on his eyes (catharact), he's suffering too, and I also get that he's stubborn sometimes.
The thing is, they didn't know that I'm praying to God, to let them live a normal life. That I am desperately wishing to have the pain my mom  is having. Sabi ko, Lord, sakin na lang, kasi baka ako kaya ko pa, baka sakali alam ko gagawin. They didn't know I'm hurting too. That it also pains me when I see them suffer.
I just want a normal life too. I'm not asking for too much. I just want a comfortable and peaceful life (with them).
And at this moment, I am again questioning my worth. What can I give? What am I to the family? 
I feel frustrated! I feel useless!I'm so tired!