A letter from Apr 19, 2025

Hello, I'm writing this now because it's a big one for you tomorrow. Tomorrow, on the 20th of April, I'll turn 17. You'll be turning 18. And just like that. I remember when we had a 'days left of being a teenager' countdown on our phone. We bathed in the idea that it's so far away and yet with every day that number went down and it's not far at all. And here we are. It's going to be soppy and sentimental but I love you. I love you so much. If no one else will tell you that, please know your strength and your worth. I know you hunger so much to hear kind words from someone's lips but what I love about you is that you do it anyway. You learn because you love to learn. Your stomach flutters whenever anyone mentions something you're interested in because it fills you with so much adoration to be able to speak about something so important to you. And you do this no matter what. We've been pretty much alone, save a few people, all our life. It's difficult and it hits hard when you realise but oh my God, don't let it get to you. You're worth too much. Because now that you're turning 18 you might look back and see the primary school you who sat with her back against a brick wall reading biology books, and realise it's not so different as the almost-a-decade-older you listening to music in a toilet cubicle because it's the only place you can be alone without feeling judged. I know how much it hurts. But I want you to know that it's not you. Please stop blaming yourself. Knowing you you're probably worried as hellllllllll. You don't know what you want to go on and do and you feel like you should be more prepared but no one ever really is. Breathe. Go with the flow. Whatever you choose to do, you'll be great. I know that. You know that, deep down. So stop begging for people to tell you it when you know it. You know what your dreams are and no matter how far they seem, they're closer than you think. Know it's all coming together. Know the importance of hard work and the magic of luck but know how worth it these dreams are to chase. Keep that fire alive. Wherever you are, I'm proud of you. And the world is so full of hate and envy and jealousy. And you'll wonder what you're doing wrong and why you can't get back what you give and why people walk on you like dirt or treat you like a number or an object and why you've never truly connected with someone. But please know your worth. Know it's not you. And do things for yourself. Your day will come. Love from (almost 17 year old) you, :)