A letter from Apr 17, 2025

Dear past me (and future me), Look at you go. I logged in today, I read our past letters to ourself. It's crazy to think just how much I've changed since those days. Back then, we were a teenager dying to be on our own and be happy. We were doing everything we could. We were obsessed with people that hurt us deeply and forever. Things aren't perfect yet. But you made it. We have a home. Our own little place full of pets of all sorts. We have a partner. Things are hard with him, but I know that it'll be okay. These little rocky spots aren't future-ending. I'm sure you'll write back when you get this, and let me know how it really turned out. I want to know if we really do feel happy eventually. It's gotten so much better. There are such longer stints now, where it's happiness all the time. Contentedness. Feeling positive. Thinking of my future. And yet there are still just a few gaps of time where it's so bad in my mind and it feels like the only way out is to die. But we know better than that, now. Anyway, I don't really know what my future holds. I know our family is happy and comfortable. I know our pets bring us joy. I like my job, a lot. I'm really happy working where I am. Tell me if you still think about you-know-who, please. I need to know that I can get that out of my head.