A letter from Apr 13, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Right now I have so much confusion and heartache. I’m in love with someone and yet I find myself trying to love someone else. I crave romance and excitement and the kind of love you only see in movies yet some of the best moves show what this doesn’t last. I know the right thing to do is just love and see what happens but I feel so guilty about it. I can’t see my future, I have no plan. I just wish I understood why I feel like this and how I can make it stop. I just want to be held but after a while being held feels like a cage and then I feel the need to find someone else to cage me. My chest hurts constantly with thoughts and feelings I just want to be rid of, but without them at I me? Can I have these feelings and not hurt anyone or must I get rid of them and hurt only me. I think I romanticise everything too much. Maybe life would be easier if I didn’t. Dull but easier. I feel I’m in love with more people than I’m aloud. Maybe it will pass. I’m not sure I want it to. It hurts to love.