A letter from Mar 02, 2025

April 6th and I receive a letter from last year and oh my god what was I writing. Why was it so poorly done. You can clearly tell from my mindspace they I was taking it as a joke and further that affected my event from then. I have come to the sudden realization that I'm a lazy girl. I put bare minimum effort hoping this will work out nonetheless. The same thing I have been suffering from in the past is still what I'm suffering from rn. Time management, indiscipline, consistency. This are the same thing I have sang all my life. The bare minimum effort to maintain friends, to work on myself, I keep asking for advice and I know surely I know that what I can for myself is listen to my thoughts. This fear I have is overshadowing the confidence. This is what I'm talking about. I talk about fear about confidence but I don't do anything about it. I smoke to pass time and procrastinate in-order to avoid the good things. I keep crying about I want these I want that. But really Irene am I ready to be in that position? Am I really behaving like a person in consulting? A person who offers solution? My problem solving is bad, terrible. I consult chatgpt I don't give myself time to actually think. And how can person who will be high level thinks like this? Like the efforts are bare minimum I'm speaking. Let's say about preparation. You don't prepare yourself you don't know anything about finance. The confidence you desperately crave you think you will learn in an interview. Irene get a grip of life. Wake up. If you want better positions come next year you have to actively put yourself out there. I have a whole year to prove that I can change. I can be better at speaking. I can be better in thinking I can be better in working and I can land a job by showing your skills in real life. So how 1. We have LinkedIn - Attend event. Show them that even in your lack of job you are growing. You are changing and the perfect candidate for them. Put yourself out there. I won't live my life forever smiling at other people and putting my face down 2. Network yourself. If it means attending events please stop staying in the house and go outside meet people. Speak. Take about events and make friends Irene. 3. Write out application. Don't stop. Stop thinking you are better that another person's. Stop waiting for others to help you. I mean you are 25 years old. You should have a grip of what reality is. Stop approaching life with just swords and tears. Approach it with no fear, with **** if necessary stop looking like a pity poop. Get a life. This thing has really been bothering me. That I can't work on something without chatgpt . I need to work hard. I believe there is something we want to achieve and rn without looking back is focusing on my growth. Putting emotions ans bare minimum aside. This is my life