A letter from April 3rd, 2025

Dear FutureMe,
Hi love ,I hope you're okay ,I hope that everything is better and that you don't feel the same way I do right now .I feel immature coz why on earth I'm I a 17year old who has no job and is living with her sisters ,even though I'm supposed to feel at home I can't help but think that I'm overstaying my welcome taking advantage of them even though I don't misuse anything I feel like I'm preventing them to live their lives I feel like an obstruction to their lives and can't help but think that they hate me for that ,that they want me gone ,that I'm not doing anything to help them I feel guilty for living with them .I am friendless so the only thoughts running in my mind are ....you're not likeable...pretty...... talkative.....rich...popular ....or skinny enough .My heart has been heavy the past month living with essy same way it did with Silvia I can't help but want to run away to a place I feel comfortable in a place I feel beautiful,seen , confident,happy in and there's only one place like that ....home...it's the only place .I guess I'm confusing that with being home sick or maybe I'm also home sick and the thought of home gives me comfort and I like no I love that feeling .I have been crying a lot the past two months after I left home I guess the feeling of being unwanted is somehow tied to me ,I miss mom ,I miss her terribly I miss the breeze and the calmness and quiet of home and I can't wait to get back .I'm planning to go back in two days and stay there for four months I can't wait for everything to go as planned.

wow I feel as if a weight has been lifted of of me coz I was at the edge of starting to cry .Thank you me for always being there for me ....I hope next year is good for you considering you'll be independent,18,in uni, and hopefully you'll have a boyfriend someone that shows you that they love you and not someone that just says .I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST , RECEIVE LOTS OF LOVE FROM YOU TO YOU .ILL UPDATE YOU LATER HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE GOOD NEWS

XOXO