A letter from Mar 14, 202

Dear FutureMe, Hey, it’s me Ariana. It’s like currently 1:41 AM Friday March 14th as I’m writing this, (beginning to write it and I’m currently on a call with Jose and Ian in our groupchat Tablon! We named it that cuz Ian is horrible at typing through text and he somehow sent Tablon instead of Roblox when we wanted to play Roblox. I don’t know if I can put pictures in here but if I could I would to show you! Ian’s FYP is interesting, we’re watching TikTok in silence and Ian is sharing his screen btw. So the elephant in the room is (at least in my room) is that it’s your birthday! Or my birthday! Who knows! Well I know because it’s my birthday. I told myself I can’t delete anything I write but I just did but oh well lol. 😕☹️😁💫😭These are emojis from today. Yayy!! Also second elephant in the room.. He who shall not be named.. (………………………Hristian…) I hope I didn’t remind you like in a bad way or something idk. Today I was painting that Los Angeles painting on the big canvas and I finished the sunset still not done though. And I also tried to make a cover of no one noticed by the Maria’s extended english but it’s also work in progress. Also I hope you’ve started making YouTube videos of song covers so you can start up your career on being a singer-song writer! Pleaseee do it. Anyway, I felt bad because all I could think about is him and the life I could’ve maybe had cause I really loved him. I hope by now if you’re not like together somehow we’ve moved on and maybe even have met the love of our lives! Just now it’s hard. Cause I miss him a bunch even though he has a boyfriend. He immediately jumped into a way too affectionate friendship then relationship. Kinda like with Alex the girl if you remember her but they didn’t date. I hate when his boyfriend talks about the future because I wanted to be the one in his future. He has no idea how much I loved him. It just hurts and it still wounds me deeply now. I have to be honest and say I miss him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He was my first love and it wasn’t a silly middle school crush it was LOVE. I loved him with every ounce of my soul and my heart and body completely belonged to him and more. I could run my hands through the soil and brush through the blades of grass and smell the petrichor after it rained and dig my boots into the snow and close my eyes in a hot shower and feel him on me and lay on the floor in a cold shower and feel his embrace and put my head against the ground and feel the heartbeat of the earth and in everything I could feel my love for him. Our love. And the feeling he once gave me that only I for the rest of time will ever know. It’s so strange.. I became so sad all of a sudden. I just need him. But you can’t love someone into loving you. I just miss him. I had to get that out. Anyway, happy quince. Cus it’s your quince right. I hope you had a party and a pretty dress!!! Love ya bye. Not actually bye because this doesn’t feel like me at all. I’m not this immature.. Maybe I am. I don’t know. I’ll see you later. I love you sooooooooooooo much. I feel like it’d be nice to hear that. I’m proud of you and please achieve great things! Kisses from Ariana, since I keep editing this I stopped writing at 2:07 AM! Stilll on that call.. bye bye. I’ll see you later.