A letter from Feb 18, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Hello love! Ahhhh. Ahhhhhhhhh. Aaaaaaahhhhaahhahahha. It is so good to be writing to you again! My goodness gracious, I have missed this! You are such a wonderful, beautiful Soul. I'm currently having a bit of a hard time. Lots of emotions swirling inside of me, wanting attention and time and space and love. And that's fair. So do I. So have I always. Maybe I always will? Who knows; I'm not sure. But perhaps I give that, to myself. And ask for help, for assistance, for support and space. A great mix of everything. And that feels terrifying. Why? Because asking for help takes effort. It takes me standing up and saying "this is what I need. Can you help me?" And what if they say no? What if they laugh, or scoff, or get annoyed? The worst fear is the saying no. Because that would mean I would be alone. All alone, just me. With no one around and no support. No. . . one. . . to hold my hand. But. . . wait. Gandalf told me that someone will always be there. Someone is always there with me and I have never, not once, been left alone to handle things on my own or by myself. Always someone has been there. Always someone will be there. I am never alone, even when it feels like it most. ESPECIALLY when it feels like it most. So what do I need? I need a good long hug. And a reminder that I can do it; I am allowed to feel safely. Someone to hold me as I feel these scary feelings - or, these feelings that may seem scary to my conscience. Yeah. Yeah :) *big breath i n . . . and. . . o u t* Thanks for listening, my love. You are 100% enough. Always believe me when I say that, 'kay? Even if I say it like. . . *in a big voice that is that of a large black TURKEY!!!* YOU. Are. ENOUGGGGHHHH!! Always! Even if I whisper it. Shout it. Get the town crier and call it from the rooftops to all the people below and around and in and out. You are enough! You are amazing! You are my favorite person! You are stardust! You are beautiful and special and precious and deserve all the love that you can GIVE! You are precious, my darling. Precious to me. And I love you with all of my being. It's comforting to know that when you read, things will have journeyed on. I will be somewhere, as will you ;f) Life keeps on changing. Circumstances do the same. And although this feels hard, it's also incredibly alright. It's soft and messy and confusing and kind of lovely, if you think about it and tilt your head. It'll be alright. It is alright. Keep living, my love. Keep shining your light. Keep nourishing your waters. Keep receiving love and support and cheers! Grateful/happy thought of the day: Precious exists! My whole family is silly! Chewbacca signing his name to that little one! The Mandalorian is so cool! We live in a beautiful, beautiful world. I love you darling, dear heart. - Such love and hope, Ashlee Marie Ray (me, moi. Also I get to go to France!) (February, 18th, Tuesday, 2025, 17:39. ABout to go eat burritos with my fam.)