To (2) number 37. I miss the old me

A letter from March 10th, 2025

My anxiety is such a blocker for me. it literally keeps me from getting excited for a job or for maarriage even for driving alone and i love driving. any little thing that seems good my anxiety finds a way for me to over think and make it seem bad like how long is the taxi drive to work, how long will i be stuck in traffic with some random dude. Or road rage how do i deal with some angry driver screaming at me. if my car breaks down who do i call what do i say what do i do. Theres just so much more that i cant take and it drives my crazy how much it interferes in my life. my daily life. i cant take walks alone. i cant go to the gym aloje and if i go with someone ill be too clingy and follow them like a kid. i cant be an adult and do adult things. it literally stops me from being independent and i cant do anything about it. except breakdown. i hate it. i hate it so much.
Love me 🩵