A letter from March 6th, 2025

Dear FutureMe
Hi 👋 it's you , today is March 6th2025 at 11:03pm .I can't seem to fall asleep these days ,I guess that's common when you have nothing to do ,it's been a month since I left home and I'm starting to miss everyone,I miss moms caring words,I miss Deilahs nagging I miss bill and jeydens fun even I can't believe this but I'm missing the clean air being able to lay on the grass breathing the clean air and eating meat ,I miss the environment.Im cooped up in Silvia's square living room for the month and I'm starting to loose it , I miss home,I have ZERO friends I guess that's expected since I don't go out but tbh I feel out of place ,I might be tripping but I don't think so 
I finally decided to let law be and study international relations and diplomacy bcz it seems cool,not too flooded and it still has law in it so it all works out .I'm trying to learn learn French since I have no other thing to do ,
I have become really emotional crying at the least expected thing every now and then but I'm sure that's just the hormonal pills  I'm taking .I feel like a burden and before you say that I'm overthinking ,I know I am .I think I'm taking too much space and overstaying my welcome at Silvia's even though she's a sister ,she gets on my nerves most of the time and for thati can't spend a day with her before crying , I also think she's taking advantage of me ,do this,do that ,come here ,bring me this ,go for this ,I hate cooking you cook,I took your shirt can I keep it ,I took your perfumes can I keep them ,send me money I'll refund when the month starts ,wash my clothes(she never keeps her promises and I'm honestly so tired of it) 
why am i so childish ,crap now I'm crying, I need a boyfriend and friends I feel weird being a 17year old who's never loved or had a bf inher life   did I ever grow up ,do I have a bf or friends?