A letter from February 25th, 2025

Dear FutureMe, i started writing these letters cause i thought i would have it figured out by the time i got them. im about a year away and i think im the farthest ive ever been from that. i feel like ik failing my younger self. i dont have many friends. i think ill have even less next year. i dont think im going to be able to participate in any of the senior activities because you need friends for that. im questioning why im even still doing this. i want to graduate early l. mom says im trying to grow up to quick. no. im trying to get away from high school. i dont really know why im writing this. i guess im holding put hope that in a year or so things will have magically changed and im happier than ive ever been but i seriously doubt that. now that i look back on my high school years, not one of them has been generally more happy than sad. i thought this year was different, and maybe it was for a little bit, but second semester has just been so lonely. kaitlyn isnt going to prom with me and im starting to think she never was in the first place.  ive filled next years schedule with off periods. anything  to not be at school longer than i need to. im struggling to show up these days. i just cabt find it in me. i dont want to perform for others. i dont want to get up and get dressed just to sit around all day. thats what even periods are. i wish i didn't have to go at all. its not fair rhat ive never been able to jave a solid group of friends, or even more than 2 or 3. ik quality over quantity and that bull **** but i would feel much less empty all the time. i wish i could time travel. everyone having fun except for me. anyway. i just hope your life is better rrhan mine.