A letter from Feb 19, 2025

Dear Future me, It's 9:58 pm , I'm laying on bed, having a flu plus pain because of my period, I kept thinking about ppl I knew, "friends" of mine , it's been a while, I decided not to write to anyone, I'm tired of that , I wondered if they will check on me or not but they didn't, it's been months and they didn't, I know they have their issues but I do too , but I always been there for them , I mean can't they send a message a simple hello , would it harm them ! I don't know if I'm doing well but I have to keep going for my sake .. I am tired , since my childhood I guess , but I know that I'll get on my feet again no matter what , I'll fix me , I'm trying even d ath sounds a good idea but till the time Come I have to move on to survive, to be good for myself first. I shouldn't care about others' opinions I started knitting actually it's been days and I am good at it plus I started learning python two days ago , maybe I'll go somewhere with this , I have to read quran I know I have to fix my religious attitudes , push myself a little more to be a good Muslim, maybe I'll have a chance to meet my brother there. I'm not eating well , I stopped overthinking at the day but I guess it was kept in my head at night as nightmares, sometimes I wake up remember a little and sometimes I forgot what was the nightmare but the feeling stayed.. Maybe I'm selfish, all I do is talking about myself but I shouldn't stop that , right A friend "I call everyone this " told me I have to be selfish so here I am acting or trying to act that way .. I know I have a lot to do but maybe step by step I'll get better I'll be a good version of myself insha'Allah 💜 Your mate , H from the past Wed. 19th . Feb. 2025 Hope you are doing well Love you or trying to