A letter from Feb 12, 2025

Dear FutureMe, helllo. writing this on weds 12 feb. feeling very yucky today (of course, or we'd never find the time to write this). just did another pre inquest hearing for dad (actual one will be a couple weeks away when you read this). i hope youre doing well. i miss dad soooo much. it makes me feel sick every day. i just self-reffered for CBT. i hope youre in therapy by the time you read this. was just mums birthday, strong and loving as ever. just moved into my flat in london, i hope its still going well. you may be even about to start a phd. friendships and relationships messy af rn. not sure where i am or what to do or where to go from here. i hope you find clarity in the next 6 months. i hope youre running. eating well. not smoking or snussing. i hope you have the money saved. to travel or to live. i hope you have a more defined go to best friend. i hope you are contently single. i hope mums well. i hope nans well. i hope you live in the present more than the past and the future. i hope you feel light when you wake up. i hope you find peace in missing dad. i hope you have learnt to stop being a people pleaser. i hope you manage to set boundaries. i hope you feel hopeful for the future. and i hope your job is all that you wanted it to be. i hope you’re smiling. i hope life feels lighter, and the things that once weighed you down have turned into lessons, not burdens. i know there were moments you wanted to give up, times when the world felt too heavy—but look at you, still standing. whatever you’re facing now, trust yourself. you’ve survived every bad day so far, and you’ll survive this too. i hope summer doesnt get you down. i hope its not too sweaty and rushed. i hope theres a gentle breeze and 8hour bedrest nights. mostly, i hope your physical and mental wellbeing are as on track as your academics. please learn to prioritise them. its hard to try and have it all, but youll only get so far if you burn yourself out at work. remember all flowers in time bend towards the sun every version of you has fought to get here. stop fighting, and be here. be kind to yourself, love yourself the way you love others. keep shining things im proud of right now BSc MRes This job This flat My family My tutoring My papers My perseverance things i will be proud of anything, no matter what, that comes next give mum a hug i love you PresentMe