A letter from Feb 10, 2025

Dear Future Me, Right now, I am 149 cm and nearly 70kg. Obese. The numbers glare at me, etching themselves into my mind like a brand I cannot wash off. These numbers—cold, unfeeling, merciless, define me, trap me, suffocate me. They dictate how I see myself, how I move, how I breathe. They whisper in my ears when I stand in front of the mirror, when I walk past strangers, when I dare to dream. But, God, I hope these numbers don’t matter to you anymore. I hope you don’t measure yourself in weight, in inches, in the way people look at you. I hope you’ve learned to measure yourself in the things that truly matter: in the kindness you show to others, in the strength of your mind, in the courage it took to break free from this stagnant version of me. I hope you are no longer drowning in self-loathing, no longer waiting for an external transformation to justify your worth. Because I am so scared that you’ll still be me. I am terrified that years from now, I will look into the mirror and see the same pair of tired eyes, the same self-doubt, the same aching regret of wasted time. I fear that I will stay this way—trapped in the comfort of my excuses, drowning in the familiar cycle of “I’ll start tomorrow.” I fear that I will keep hiding behind my fears, behind the idea that I am “trying,” when in reality, I am just standing still. So please, tell me you moved forward. Tell me you became more than the weight you carry—both on your body and in your heart. Tell me you fought through the days where change felt impossible, where the past tried to chain you down, where you wanted to give up and accept that this is all you would ever be. Tell me you became someone I can be proud of. Because right now, I am not proud. Right now, I am just scared. But I want to believe in you. I want to believe that you are strong enough to be more than me. So if you’re reading this, and you haven’t changed, and you’re still drowning—get up. Get up and fight for me. Because I deserve better. We deserve better. Please, don’t stay the same.