A letter from Feb 05, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Imma be so for real with you, you're as Kristi would say, down bad for a guy. I know that in a year the crush is probably non-exist but hopefully we still get to spend time with him, he's been healing for me. Hopefully he still is in the future. Life is going so well even though it feels pretty crumbly. You know I started school again and I'm hoping you're working on your paramedic. I don't even know if you'll have time for a relationship, from what I've heard you won't but also if it's supposed to work out it will I guess. I honestly don't know what to expect from you, I know I've gotten better and that you're going to be an even better version of me but I don't know what the future is and I'm not really a fan of that. I'm more curious about what your truth will be. I think deeply right now, but will that change as I get better or, will I forever need to find meaning in the mundane? I hope you still find meaning in smaller things, it means all the stuff I'm doing doesn't go to waste but ultimately I hope you're living life. We've spent so much time doing nothing more than surviving and some days it still feels like that's all I'm doing. I hope even through the chaos of school and work you find times to live. I want you to feel and be as open as I am now because even when I'm hurt it's shown how many people love me and it's made me connected to the people I love. Continue to meet with people, find time to play games, and show up to church even when you don't want to. Continue to learn how to love and be loved because if there is one thing I know it is that getting to love and being loved is what is going to get you through every hard time. Please continue to live because it's taken a lot of work to do more than survive.