A letter from Feb 05, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I kept wanting to regain the old me but it’s pointless. We’re not the same person as we were a year ago That part of us is gone now We could only make something beautiful out of everything left No matter how tiny it is to ignite a spark But the good thing is we can always restart We can always reconstruct We have time to learn to love this new version of ourself again I am loveable Idk how many people made me feel like I’m not But I am The 7 yrs old was loveable The angry 13 yrs old me was loveable The sick 17 me was loveable The anxious 20me was loveable The confused and I perfect 21 me was loveable I may have done mistakes but this one is a fact; I’ve always tried my best I’ve always take a step back to be a better person I’m always trying to be a better person Even right now Where I’m once again full of anger confusion loneliness and doubts I am still trying to be a good person It’s taking us time but we are trying and thats the best part of it And before you think I’m incapable or undeserving of love, recognize that I am writing this because I already love you even though I haven’t met you I love us and all of us and everything we will be I am learning from mistakes We are worth of every love people give to us And we may struggle to express it and to accept it but our love is full too And maybe they are right The reason why people like us find it so hard to love is because we also know the best how to love someone We are afraid, not incapable I’ll start healing these wounds so you can love freely So before you feel unlovable again, know that I fought this far because I love you I fought at 17 and at 19 and at 21 because I love you because I trust you because I hope for you because I want the best for you, for you to experience everything u haven’t expected yet So pls don’t restrain yourself. Let you us have this life Let’s us be loved Let us experience love life friendship heartache whatever ***** life give us We only have one life And gosh I’m sorry I’m wasting so much of it on a stupid mf I only met once And oh I read earlier it’s better to never talk to them again than to give them access over you anytime they want so thats that But most of all I hope we never experience this **** again And be careful We’re never meant for casuals and flitting connections We have always struggled to move on so while you open ur heart, guard it like a dog too, be wiser Let this event make u wiser not closed off Don’t let it shut u down, just indulge with the wisdom that comes with it Stop giving away urself for flitting attractions and validation It eats away our spark and taints a bit of our soul and we don’t want that And Ik ur worried about ur softness gone but that doesn’t take away your kindness, don’t let eat chip away that part of your character You can be fierce and kind You can be assertive and nice You’re not being an ssshole you’re just finally standing up for yourself and building boundaries over people that no longer serve for your higher purpose However, stop distancing yourself from good people Idk.. make a **** list or whatever if u really can’t control it List down the good ones, the bad ones and start from them, on who u can interact less and who u should nurture We got this you got this And also, you know what’s the greatest form of self love? Showing up for yourself and walking away even when you still want them So we did the right thing Loneliness we can handle, but no more self disrespect, Kay? Love you. Ik you can’t say that to people you love bec ur became foreign again so I think maybe we should start getting used to it again? And the best way to start is with ourself