A letter from Feb 04, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Writing this a little late, I graduated and I am going to college, I am enjoying it, some classes were stressful, but I still got it done. I started journaling and writing my feelings and thoughts down. I started going to church and turning to God to get over my porn addiction. I met a girl there named Natalie, she is amazing and she has helped me get over my addiction. I feel a lot of regret because recently I watched porn and masturbated. I feel like a massive failure, I lied to Natalie and I can't believe my actions, I feel terrible. Keeping this inside me is going to **** me. I don't want to loose Natalie and I don't want to hurt her, she has been so great to me. And I did this behind her back, I feel so ashamed, embarrassed, and most importantly, a liar and failure. I let down Natalie, I think if I tell her she will look at me with disgust and see me differently. But I know that she will help me through my addiction. Still going to the gym, I have gotten stronger, but I still need to do better. I love Natalie so so so so so so so much, I am in love with her and I was scared to write about because what if I get this letter and I am no longer with her? I can't think like that, we both have to work to stay together, I will do anything to keep her with me and be there for her just like she has been there for me. Before meeting Natalie, I prayed to God for happiness and to bring me closer to the love of my life. He brought me to Natalie, I can't the Lord enough for her, she is just my greatest friend. I hope by this time in the next year, I have graduated and I have Natalie by my side.