A letter from Feb 04, 2025

Dear Payton(or sunny?), Heya! Its you, from the past. Today is February 04 2025. I know life has been hard, and you've been stressing about everything. Its going to be okay. I know it doesnt seem like that, but im confident it will be. And by god, this sounds cringy, but... if you make it to your birthday, the day you get this... you will be 20. 20 years old. You live for 20 years. Thats amazing! Everytime you thought about ending everything, you pushed through. You pushed through and you are still here. I hope we grew to love life. I hope we enjoy life, and that we have a job, and a home, and we can be happy. I could fill this page with so many things i hope for, and i hope we achieve some of them. I want you to close your eyes. I want you to take this time to lay back and take a breath. Lets think about things that have changed from today, when i wrote this, to... today, when you get this. Heres a small list of things from off the top of my head. What has changed? * you still live with you're mom. * your father is in the hospital in a coma. * you got 4 cats. Nyxie, Rajah, Reign and Reaper. * you have 9 plush dogs. * are you still friends with Cal? * you have 3 friends. Do you have more? * you dont have a job. * you are in therapy with Tiffany. Remember. Even if right now, everything feels hard... you are loved. Your past self loves you. Your mum loves you. Your pet(s) loves you. Close your eyes. Relax. Breathe. Remember that its okay to cry, even if it feels hard to. Sometimes its better to sit in your room, or the bathroom, and cry. Sometimes its good for you. You are allowed to have emotions, you are allowed to feel, to cry, to be angry. I hope by now we found happiness. I hope by now we know how to be ourselves and what we like. I love you, future me. I believe our future is bright, no matter how bleak it may feel.