A letter from Feb 03, 2025

Dear Future Me, Was it all worth it? Did you destroy your future for the girl? Was SHE worth it? Not sure if life will every get better. Send me a sign from God please. Did I savour the memories with her? With the both of them? Was love worth my life? Who knows, I might never find this. Maybe I'll be up in the heavens then. Or hell, in my case... Maybe I should've tried. But I'll never know if I cared enough. If all I wanted was a bit of love, maybe I should've found God earlier, Catholicism earlier. Did you finally realize that maybe depression wasn't the right path? Why did I have just lied there in the dark and cried for? I should've studied harder. Tried harder. Ignored love. Dear future me, what was really right? Did I ever find happiness? Love, at least? Was ANYTHING worth it? Did I lose contact with either of them? I shouldn't be caring about this anyway. Did I ever find some that cared for me, someone who'd be there to listen and comfort me? To stop the scars from growing? Maybe I shouldn't have hesitated when I jumped. I need a sign.. Is help waiting out there for me? Guess I'll trust in the Lord for now. Sincerely, Past me