A letter from January 16th, 2025

Dear FutureMe,I am scared to fail, I'm not doing so well at this stage in my life (at least to me) and I'm scared for the future. I am extremely stressed, I see myself trying to escape and pulling at the locks of the door restlessly trying to unlock it with no avail. I want and need so many things and trying to work on them all simultaneously is overwhelming and exhausting. I want to just scream and say everything I'm struggling with, say my worries, say my fears and hear someone tell me that they see me and that they'll be here to hold me if all goes wrong. I cannot be weak, I cannot fail, I have to succeed not even because I want to because I have to. I have no one. There's a part of me that is grateful for the lack of community I have because it leaves no room for negligence and/or backpedaling. I have to, no one will come to help and I know this but I want to feel as if I have that option and I don't. It suck's. Boohoo. I just want something, someone to just save me. I'm scared, I'm so scared. I see a little kid in my head, pleading looking out in hopes that someone will come scoop her up and save her.