A letter from Jan 13, 2025

Hi. I wanted to try one of these things as Zack just sent me the one he made 5 years ago. I don’t envision myself living for 5 more years, so I’ve optimistically chosen 1 year instead. As I write this I am having one of my worst mental episodes since before starting my new job. It was so hard to not jump in front of a train this morning. I honestly can’t even begin to imagine where I’ll be in a year’s time as I don’t even think I’ll still be alive. I think some things my partner does is unfair, and I always feel like I’m horrible if I speak up about it as he gets angry and upset at me. Am I really being unfair by voicing how I feel about these things? Or is he being unfair by getting angry at me for it. I don’t know if I’ll make it through the night, but if I do I hope that in a years time I am in a much better place than where I am now. See you then