ring ring pick up the phone

hey me, it's january 11th, 2025 at 11:20 a.m. & I am 19. I am sitting in bed listening to this playlist john made (go listen to it for your immersion: it's called "bc adjacent" in case you forgot!) I ate cereal this morning and the milk label said "BEST USED BY: JAN15" and I thought that said "BEST USED BY: JANIS" and I was like oh **** we took her milk. I was supposed to go on a date today with that ace guy but he got sick so we called it off. wonder if it'll be awkward for you to read this - maybe he's still in your life? maybe it fizzled? who's to say. I hope you've done more art. I hope you've done more videos. take an artist day, a day off - go for a walk & think of things & come back with something to make. check that instagram folder you save all the cool **** to but never look at ("do thiz") & there's some videos there about fun websites to visit & casual research (rabbit hole site hopping & learning & artistic inspiration!) I'm in a bit of a rut right now. Feels like I haven't had the time nor inspiration to make anything crazy lately - but I know neither of those things are true? I guess I'm just feeling artistically gray. I did make that self-portrait though & I'm in love with it a little bit! so that's a plus. I'm going to go make it into a sticker after writing this - maybe you'll have it on your computer by now. I wonder how that internship that dad & I are talking about right now is panning out, if at all. I hope it was good. unrelated but I got stoned two days ago and I didn't like it very much. heart beating gagging on spit "don't bite me!" type of high. appreciate being sober & present & that's an order what kind of hair do you have right now? do you need a haircut? it's about that time for your biannual haircut hahaha. hey I'm so excited for the kinds of clothes or jewelry you'll have found! I just got that denim corset vest-thing and the necklace. i'm really happy with all of it if only it wasn't WINTER right now brrrrrr what about music? who do you love now? (very subtle breeders reference) how's the radio show? I know you think you're a slacker but you've been doing good. be happy with what you have. HOW DID AD TEAM GO??? I have all of these questions for you but I don't want to give you those twinges of regret if they've gone wrong - but I don't want to tiptoe around you, either. if you regret a thing or two, I know you've learned something & whatnot. it's all growing pains I love you! good luck in your 20s. the future is so exciting for both of us. oh the places we'll go or whatever the **** (NOT the doechii album I haven't listened to that I am referencing the dr. seuss book). here is a haiku yellow plaid pillow little bird on the window open the blinds: light ccczzzz rrrrrr hey I can't zzzzzccccc breaking up kkkccccc talk later from me, circa 2025 p.s. - I PUT THIS ON PUBLIC DON'T TAKE IT DOWN IT'S JUST WHO YOU ARE/WERE it's really not that serious p.p.s. - make sure to write a letter for next year. include another playlist & another haiku if you please. let's keep this weird train on its weird tracks