the last day of being seventeen

hey, today is your last day of being eighteen. Today is my last day of being seventeen. This morning, I woke up and stayed in bed until seven twenty. Then, I got dressed and walked the dog longer than I normally do in the morning because his life is so much shorter than mine. I ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, and went to school. I stopped at Dutch on the way to school and got myself a drink and Layla a fun seasonal drink (they have cereal themed ones right now) because she had to go get her IUD alone today and I know that hurts. I had my special needs aide period first since it's a B-day. Today, Harrison started yelling as soon as we got back from our walk where he listens to Taylor Swift and I listen to my own music, and so I took him right on back out. I set him up with my Spotify for the period and I couldn't use it on my phone while he was, so I just took the time to look around and listen to what I could overhear in the hallways. I only banged Harrison's wheelchair on the door once today which I would call an improvement. Harrison still laughed at me. He's been using his eyegaze more and today we were listening to Sabrina Carpenter (I've been trying to find out what music he likes) and when we were listening to Please, Please, Please, he said, "how embarrassing!" and we both cracked up. I talked to Milo and Lyla while we walked around the gym with Harrison and Kiera. We found out Harrison does not like Phoebe Bridgers. Devastating, I know. Then, I went to lit and we analyzed 1984 (anguish) and talked in groups (fun). I got out of the classroom as soon as possible after so I could go home for lunch. I listened to music loud. I had to reject somebody yesterday for the first time and it was so awkward so I've been feeling a lot about that. We're still friends, though, which I'm glad about. Grandma died a couple weeks ago and we fly out to Florida next week for the funeral and Mom feels bad we're not doing much for my birthday, but I'm okay with that because honoring Grandma is most important. Really, turning eighteen is melancholy to me anyway. I miss Grandma. Back at school I went to anatomy and worked on my notes for the test because Ms. Stewart lost her voice and we were just watching videos today. I talked to Aseel and Daniel about turning 18. I'm worried about the test next week because brain science is so confusing to me. Now, I'm sitting in TOK. It's my least favorite class ever but I finished my presentation about thought experiments and didn't lose my mind, so that's a plus. I have Adriene Lenker in my headphones. We're presenting in small groups later. After school, I have practice (anguish because I can't row and the bike seat hurts your butt so bad) then get to go home and go to bed (fun). Tomorrow I'm getting my first tattoo, mountains on my ribcage. Tía Elha is going to come see me during my tattoo. I've heard ribs hurt BAD but I am not terribly worried about it because it'll pass just like every other moment in time. After, I'm probably hanging out with Kiele then we're going to dinner with Lola, then I'm going and staying with mom at Dan and Elha's. Turning 18 is a scary thing. I know nothing will inherently change about me between today and tomorrow, but eighteen sounds so much older than seventeen. I've loved being seventeen. Layla is already eighteen and she's alright. I like that she always gets to try out being older for a few days before I join her. Olive's been eighteen since September and she was melancholy about it for a while but turned out okay. I need to go present my dumb TOK presentation. I hope being eighteen is awesome and that your last day of being eighteen is not melancholy. You get to put 'I'm nineteen and I'm on fire' from that Lorde song on your birthday cake anyway, so that makes being nineteen awesome. We've done so much between now and when you're getting this. Love you