A letter from Jan 07, 2025

Dear FutureMe, So... wow. Almost 20. Grown a lot. Lol. Pessimistic bout love. Yk, gone through more ****. But learned. Thanks past me gah****. I think I'm better person??! I hope. More calmer bout ****. Still spiral. Have a lot of insecurities. Still. But, I love the life I have. Just where I am. I know how bad it could be, how bad I could make it. NOPE. I got goals now! About living. Oh my, how much I've learned. A lot of **** has effected me, and I'm trying to work through all of that currently but it really is a lot more manageable so far. Caring bout myself. It's hard, the past. I hate when it comes up But it does. I don't like how I acted but, don't like how they acted. Wow. I think actually, reading back, I'm growing as a person. I'm scared to be someone who doesn't grow. Or turns bad. But idk what bad even means so. I don't feel like it but, seems like I got a lot more pep in my step. :) didn't realize. More positive in a way. I mean, been working a lot on myself, as always. But looking back at these letters I see it. Btw, got a boyfriend. His name chase. He's really something. In a good way to me. It's weird to me, its nice, very nice. The fact that we go so well together. This far. That's the pessimism. Also, living with karli. Seems like life being a lil unsure in all areas. Not in a negative way. In my opinion. Just life lifeing. Hm. Wow. I think life's been very nice to me recently. For months. Some things aren't and haven't been nice. Drugs and alcohol are something I'm trying to be regulated about. Crazy right? Lol. Anyways future me, wanna hear what u have to say in a year or whatever. I have a dream, but in 5 years. My own house. My friends doing their thing, and loving it. Less anxious, involving people, including my friends. Peace. A garden. But that's not for a while. Some things I want. I don't think some things r gonna go away so easily, cause they haven't gone away, and they haven't been easy. But some things have gotten better. Thank ****. Anywayz, read ya whenever. Remember?...: maybe a lot of ppl don't know what's going on but, they're still living. And trying to live and love. And maybe love does help, a lot... Bye, read ya :)