A letter from Jan 06, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I have everything… well almost everything. I don’t have him. I shouldn’t want him but I do. Every morning I wake up to the thought of him. The thought of me lying on his chest with us madly in love but then I remember reality and the reality is I ruined everything. I had it all but my past trauma forbid me from being happy with him and I think I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Another sad reality is that he didn’t care enough to ask what was wrong or why I’m like this he just allowed me to leave and when I realised what I did and how much I needed him he constantly blocked me like i never meant anything to him in the first place. All I can do is trust that God has a plan for me because if I don’t I will go insane