A letter from Jan 02, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Are you ok? I hope so. I wish I could get a hug off of future me, maybe just so I know it’s all ok. Seriously though, what is wrong? You own a home, you’re 3 months in to a job you enjoy and you have your baby girl and husband! But realistically, you own a home that you’re unhappy with. It embarrasses you. It’s messy and needs modernising. Everywhere you look there is DIY tasks outstanding. You’d love a new build despite all their flaws. You need to remember, the grass isn’t greener. You are 3 months into a job you enjoy, but is so hard with a vast lack of support. The pay is great along with the flexibility but you feel lost. There is no one to help you or train you. You’re winging it. You have a baby girl who is hard to handle. She’s so clever and so bright but realistically you just spent 2 weeks with her whilst nursery was closed and you’re exhausted. Work is easier! Shes the best thing to ever happen to you though. Shes literally hilarious and her smile can light up a room. She’s beautiful in every way and despite how difficult it is, you’ve never felt love like it. And your husband. You’re concerned it’s whittled out. Are you just friends now? He doesn’t treat you like he used to, but you don’t treat him how you used to either. It goes both ways. More effort is needed. The words ‘divorce’ have entered your head and you push them back. I hope you’ve made it through the year, I hope things are better. You need to keep the spark alive. You do love him. And another baby! What have you decided? Honestly right now I’m so torn. £3000 is so much money that could be spent on the house. But Molly would be so lonely growing up surely? I just want her to be happy. I want us to be happy. If someone offered to pay or if it were free I’d probably do it, so does that mean I should just go for it? Money comes back. I don’t know. Babies are hard, I love my job, do I want another maternity? This is tricky. Lastly. Your weight. If I could flick a switch and be a size 12 I’d be so careful not to get here again. I’m fat. I’m hairy and I’m ugly. This year you need to work on yourself. Stop binge eating, it’s all mental isn’t it. Anyway. I hope you’re happier, thinner and maybe even pregnant - I don’t know. Love yourself please.