A letter from Dec 31, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Hi Heather, this is me writing you this email to your future self. Right now it's currently 4.51 on December 31st, 2024. I don't even know where to begin or how to really word this email, but I saw a TikTok of someone writing that they did a future email to themselves, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I'm also voice-noting this to myself. I'm probably not going to correct anything, so it might sound a little bit out of place, but that's okay. This year has been super ******* challenging. 2020, I think, was the catalyst for me with non-stop changes, constantly on the go and having to adapt. And the years to follow, it felt like I was filling an empty vessel or filling a void that just was unattainable. This year, however, really shaped my perspective that at the end of the day, no matter what happens to the people around me, I need to worry and carry on with things pertaining to myself. Life is extremely short, and we don't know what's in store, not just for ourselves, but for anybody. This year, specifically, I really learned that message about life being too short. I watched as my dad endured some health issues, and that completely derailed my mental health for months. And hopefully, when you read this, by the end of 2025, you are feeling much stronger and have built up a routine. This year, even though I faced challenges of not knowing what was going on with my dad and not knowing if I would have a job, I still managed to foster a relationship with my uncle. I managed to move out with my boyfriend. And I managed to be in a new role at work that allows me to make a lot more money. It has been a weird year in the sense of it feels like I lost myself, but also found myself. I definitely have felt very isolated this year, and I feel like I don't have a community. And by the end of 2025, I'm hoping that I start the new year and end the new year with a new community of people around me. Not only that, but I also hope I just feel good on the inside. I feel like I've just been in survival mode and running and running, and I really hope in the new year that I don't, regardless of what happens in my life, whatever challenge comes my way, I want to remain grounded and I want to ensure that I will get through anything because time and time again, when stuff happens, I still push through and I still persevere. This year did a lot for me, and I couldn't be happier to end things. Like I said, I don't know what is in store for me in 2025, but regardless, I really want to prioritize myself and let go of taking care of people in my life that I don't need to care for anymore. So Heather, if you're reading this, end of 2025, I hope you have become that strong, independent, warrior, badass woman that you've always been, who took some time off in the year of 2024 just to get through things. I hope you're back. I hope you're doing bigger and better. I hope you're not taking any ******** from anybody, and I hope you've put yourself first. I hope you actually went ahead and took those acting classes. I hope you really got yourself back into fitness. I hope you build that community. I hope that you remain strong. Whatever news happens in your life, whether it's for yourself, for your family, your relationships, whatever it is, I hope you are so strong and you push through, no matter what the situation is. It's gonna be okay. I'm saying this now as things have been a little bit shaky in my life, but it's gonna be okay. And I hope by end of 2025, I will just live my ******* life. I'm so tired that I put my life on hold for so long that this year in 2025, I really want to live my life. I want to ******* travel. I want to start new things. I want to save more money. I want to have like meaningful time. I want to do things on my own if I don't have other people to do it with me. I just want to live my life. I want to find my passion. I want to do a bunch of new things. I don't want another year to pass by where I'm suffocated by grief and challenges and putting other people forward. I really hope I stop putting people forward and put myself first, regardless of who the person is. I really pray for the health and happiness of all those around me. I hope we have a really great year. And I just hope that I will be ending the new year feeling strong and positive and attainable and unshakable.