A letter from Dec 28, 2024

Dear future me, Firstly, I have to tell you that I am very proud of you, no matter what you achieved or what you didn‘t. You‘re an amazing person and only deserve the best. My biggest hope for you is that you finally converted to Islam, just like we planned for months. I want you to live happily along with your belief, like we always wanted. Islam is what kept me hope for good things in the last months, and without it, I probably wouldn‘t have survived all those things that happened, without even converting yet. Now, let’s talk about HIM. I love him more than anything else and right now, he‘s talking to someone else and wants me to leave him alone and move on, which I can’t because I love him too much. There are two acceptable endings for us. I will either move on after all this time, or he starts liking me back and we will get together. I don‘t think the second thing is about to happen, but it‘s never too late for a glimpse of hope. I love him so much I feel like I love him more and more every day. It makes my heart burn when I think about the fact that he doesn‘t like me back. So, if we are still chasing him like a clown every day, we are very stupid. Don‘t take that to serious. You‘re a great person and just because you made some mistakes while loving a person unconditionally it doesn‘t mean that you‘re a bad person. Just make sure not to repeat those mistakes, okay? Well, let‘s talk about your academics. I just hope you‘re still doing great as usual in school, and the new school doesn‘t overwhelm you. I want you to find new friends that are there for you if you need them, especially if you‘re in no contact with my current friends. But the most important thing for me is, that you never give up. You have big dreams and if you ever stop chasing them, you will regret that for your whole life. And even though our biggest dream isn‘t a good job or a big house, but a guy who never liked us back, I still hope you already achieved some things that make you and your family proud, maybe also your boyfriend, if you have one (I hope it‘s M of course). Good luck, and never stop believing in yourself.