A letter from Dec 26, 2024

Hello, More of me, haha. Anyways yeah This is absolutely going to me being self pitying and sad, but its all for a good reason I swear. Its boxing day, yada yada, but this time you're alone. Yesterday you saw Astrid a bit, which genuinely made it so much better, but you still can't shake the feeling, and by feeling I mean the wallowing and lounging and the eating an entire pavlova alone just because it feels familiar. Your Christmas tree is stolen (eheheheheh) and dying, and is on a terrible lean that you simply cannot be bothered fixing (lazy ***) the only thing that is on it is a singular ballball given to you by your cute youngest sibling. (plot twist thats the only reason you even got a tree in the first place you love starved child) But this is your first Christmas alone, no family. partly that's a good thing, now you want to cry for a whole different reason. last year was almost similar, but you had Eden, and she is all you ever need sometimes, and besides her you had a job to do with a boat full of people all around you, and a wonderful crew of people who you could totally have made your friends for life if you weren't so weird. No, last year might have been your best so far, or at least a close second. This year, this one has been strange, first you were super rich and had heaps of money and no plans, and then Astrid came down to see you and, well, there was the moonlit lake, and the glowworm cave, and the mossy forest, and not to mention the couch... So of course you wanted to be where she was, too bad that was Blenheim. But you bought a car, You went road tripping with Eden for ages, y'know, learned things, mostly how to make money disappear like nobody's business. Then you come back because Astrid, duh and you're on your own again, whoop dee dah. This is were money gets tight, you're in a campground for like months, going on 'platonic' late night cuddling sashes' with your girl. This is where you really start looking for a job, its tougher than you thought, you've only had to do this once and you got it straight away, and I can't lie, you're a little picky. you shamefully go back to your parents, your father proves loving but incredibly unhelpful, your mother may be changing but it hurts for you to be around her you suicidal *****. Then blah blah blah a lot of homelessness and crying aaand boom! you have a job at cougar line, its very basic but you're happy with that aren't you? The people are nice, the pay is good even if the hours are a little sad, you're still struggling with money but at this point I doubt you'll learn. Astrid is leaving, going up north, you really want to follow but you're contractually obligated to stay till April (I think) you miss Abby a bunch. and I know she's lonely, not much you can do there. You're getting old but you still haven't learned how to have friends. I don't think anyone will ever understand that. And that's another thing entirely, it is only three days until your eighteenth birthday, Rebekah is coming up, and Eden would if she wasn't so sick(fake friend) Astrid promised to come, and possibly Krista, but you don't even know what you're gonna do, you're not exactly skilled in the party throwing dept. Your only idea so far is 'get drunk' which sounds pretty good honestly, its been a while. Still, that's maybe four people. A party? you definitely don't know, having things is scary, people most of all, but God ******* **** are you gonna try. Anyways this is probably long enough, There's your whole year, don't forget it, or do. There are some parts I know you wont forget, no one goes homeless easily. And Astrid, yeah. I say all this in the hopes that maybe as you read this from your long time away, things will be different, god, anything wouldn't surprise me these days. Are you a stripper? that would, you're kinda ugly. All I'm saying is; I hope you're loved, and I hope you can tell. Don't forget me, move on. now **** off you sob