A letter from Dec 24, 2024

Dear Future Me, I just feel like speaking my mind rn so yea I used to have this countdown app and a paper chain counting how many days till I would be 18 and could move out. I pretty much looked at it everyday and tore one of the chains off too. I was always thinking to myself stuff like "ugh that's so far away I don't think I can do this" and all together it was all really negative thoughts and it effected my mood and other things. I used to focus on it so much and I feel that it was definetly effecting my mental health. then once I started this school year I was pretty busy with school and color guard practices and competitions, ect. I started looking at the app less and less as time went on. then one day I was cleaning my room and I was just tired of this huge paper chain in my room and I wanted a change. I spend hours and hours making it. it had about 2000 pieces of paper that I cut out and stapled together. I started contemplating whether or not I should take it down or just throw it away. after a few moments something just got into me and I tore it in half then threw both pieces away. and now that its gone and I barely look at the app alot has changed for me. my therapist told me to start practicing mindfulness and just living in the moment. I never really did it instantly but once I started doing it little by little it became more of a habit and I feel like that's what awakened me to break the chain. my whole perspective on life has changed ever since I've gotten more in the habit of staying in the moment. I'm much more positive because of it. now when I happen to check that app, instead of it being negative its stuff like "wow look how far I've come I'm proud of myself, I've got this" as I was writing this I realized how much can go over our heads especially when we are kids. the quote from Kung Fu panda makes so much since now. "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."