A letter from Dec 24, 20247

Dear Future Me, kalil texted you today for the first time in months and ik you wanted to say a lot but you couldn't say it to him because he's too immature so I'm ***** get it out here "please leave me alone. I dont want anything to have to do with you. you created so many bad memories and trauma for me and you still think I want to talk to you?!?! you think you can make me feel horrible for months, then leave, then come back into my life?? I don't understand your logic. now that I look back at our relationship I'm not sure why I stayed with you for that long. I'm sorry to myself. but I just have to say how proud I am for how far I have come in the past few months. its only been uphill since the breakup. I started therapy and changing my whole perspective on life, I started taking better care of myself, I started focusing more on the good things in life, I started strengthening my friendships, I started advocating for myself more, I started embracing myself for who I am, I started listening to what my body and mind needs, I started to think about what I can do for myself to help myself, I started being more honest with myself, I started trying a bunch of new things and putting myself out there, I started going out of my comfort zone on purpose to better myself, I left all the crappy people behind in respect for myself. I am so proud of myself, truly. and yes I still have hard times of course but I have a whole new perspective on them and I know I can get through whatever comes my way. even at my lowest I just remind myself how much I've gone through and how I survived it all. out of self respect I would never want to talk to you. I love myself too much to talk to you. I owe myself respect and kindness and I'm going to give myself that.