A letter from Dec 25, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Oh.my.days. I feel so **** rn but let me give you an update of life rn. I'm in the year 10 Christmas holidays, apas like 7 months pregnant I'm still in mosque maheks wedding is in a few months and so is Ramadan. This is probably gonna sound so stupid but rn it's important. Samera got a phone today and now I'm the only person without one and I feel like it really isn't like the end of the world but why does it feel like it is idk maybe cos I'm on my period and maybe it's just everything adding up I HATEEEEEEE SCHOOOOLLLL like fr HATE its not funny at all it's just like everything is based around school and revising and hw it's so draining and it's prob just gonna get worse and I need to touch some grass but omds SPANISH SPORT STUDIES FOOD TECH WNGLISH MATH it just doesn't end and whenever the thought of exams or anything to do with revising comes into my head I literally just ignore it and it's so bad but like idk bruh and I just want a phone man it cannot be that deep it's not even a want it's a NEED cos I literally can't go anywhere cos how am I suppose to call and using a friends phone is soooo annoying and I literally just wanna like make it look cute and add cool stuff on ik this is bad but I'm acc jealous of my friends and I should be hoping the best for them but there actually just so lucky not to say I'm not wait am I being so ungrateful rn idk but this is such a stupid thing to be depressed about other people have real issues but BRUH it's just soo stupid cos what do they think is going to happen if I get a phone I'm not gonna become a **** overnight or smth like I understand not giving me phone in like yr7 or 8 but 10?! And hearing freaking apa say 'ur not getting a phone till ur 18🤓' stfu. UUUUUGGGGHHHH like who do I even talk to about this it makes me feel.. sort of pathetic and I js know when I go back to school I'm actually gonna get made fun of and laughed at obviously just as jokes but is it funny? Not rly😭 anyways I'm contemplating pulling an all nighter today it's like 1 am rn idk when to send this email for. 1year? Idk isn't that kinda soon but 3 years is too much for me ranting about not having a phone and school I always tell myself I'm gonna lock in tomorrow but I never do omg I need to lose weight I've literally been telling myself that for like 5 years now but in 2025 I fr do OK what else do I wanna do in 2025 -GET A PHONE -lose weight 🤨🙏 -good mock results (5s and above) honestly highly doubt this -get a good balance with school and literally just living -ATLEAST 1 hour of revision a day (this is not happening) -have a good summer I wonder where how summer will be rn were apparently going Thailand with jiji in summer 2025 idk how I feel about that I can't really think of anything else I don't wanna set myself like unrealistic stuff -GET ON DEEN but fr main goal is to start praying all my salah and read quran in my spare time I rly hope I do this one I just feel so unmotivated for everything idk how to explain it but anytime I want to be somewhat productive I just feel so tired and get nothing done but then I feel like I have too much to do and just do nothing. Hoping to sort that out this year😝 I hope I'm reading this on MY PHONE next year if not imma crash out also I wonder if you've spoken to rawdha recently I haven't spoken to her since August. I'm ngl writing this made me feel better I should do this more often idk what to say now so love you bye pray your salah rn and go workout 🫶🏻🫶🏻 Omg wait also I wanna add I'm watching the Japanese version of nevertheless and when the phone rings and greys anatomy so yh bye😛😛