A letter from Dec 21, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Feeling loved is such a **** privilege. I went out with family-- I'm sorry, my friends-- today, and I felt cared for. I felt, for once in my life, like I belonged. It didn't feel warm, but I felt full. And ****- my forever empty heart felt full. I felt full. I could've slept there, on that chair on that table with my second family. Those people cared and I know it. Those people love me. When Mazen kept annoying me then smiled and told me 'that's my love language' because he was afraid I'd misunderstand and I told him 'mine too'. When Iten talked about how she didn't think we'd ever stop being friends. When Habiba said we're like her second family. I sat there, feeling. I felt my heart beating in my chest. I feel it now as I sit here on my bed writing this. I feel so much I could cry. Maybe I'm not so weird. Maybe all I needed was some love. Maybe all I wanted was this; feeling and not only knowing I was loved.