A letter from Dec 20, 2024

Dear Future Me, Right now, I’m sitting at a crossroads in life, trying to make sense of everything. My heart is heavy with decisions, uncertainties, and fears that seem to crowd my mind. I’m torn between pursuing spiritual goals, which I’m convinced will bring me true joy, and financial stability, which feels necessary for peace of mind. I hope you remember this moment and the weight of it, because it’s shaping the person you are now. The fear of judgment looms large—especially from Mom. I want to honor her and her dreams for me, but I feel like the life she imagines doesn’t align with what I truly want. It’s hard, because I know she loves me and wants the best for me, but I’m not sure if her path is right for me. I wonder: have you figured this out yet? Do you feel more confident in your own choices now? I’m scared of the future, and that fear has left me stuck at times. What does the future look like to you now? Is it brighter, clearer? Are you proud of how far you’ve come? I hope so. Even now, I struggle to act because the unknown paralyzes me. But I hope—truly hope—that you’ve at least put effort into something meaningful. Maybe you’re pioneering, or maybe you’re at Bethel. Maybe you’ve taken steps to stabilize yourself financially in a way that still honors Jehovah. Whatever it is, I trust you’ve made some progress, even if it wasn’t perfect. Thank you for the work you’ve done, the sacrifices you’ve made, and the strength you’ve shown to get to wherever you are now. I know it wasn’t easy, and I know there were moments you doubted whether you’d ever find the balance you were searching for. But I trust you tried, and that effort alone means so much to me. Please remember that Jehovah is always with you, no matter where you are or what challenges you face. Keep relying on Him, because He will never fail you. I hope you’ve found peace in knowing you’re doing your best for Him, no matter the circumstances. With love and hope, Your Past Self