Jay's message before 20 years

Dearest Mr. Liu Hope you still receive this email, because i send it 20 years earlier, and i don't know if your email a/c still exist or not. How would we be when 20 years ago? Married? Devoiced? or broke up already? haha, I do not know. But I hope we will marry la!!! haha!!! But something i still do not understand now, that's, why you tell me not to come back BEijing? why don't you ever said you love me? I really want to ask do you love me? but when I ask every time(either I am in a serious way or funny way), you do not feel happy about my questions. Is it really a tough answer?Yes or .....NO? I love you but if , if you really don't like me, you could speak out, I do feel sad but .....I understand something could not be forced..........Another is , about your past, at the past 20 years, I am sure something must be happened, about you and your mother, and you and your ex-girlfriends, but you also do not want to talk about too. Autually I really want to know you and your EX.....I want to know if I am better that them or ....Worse than them, and what are the reasons they left you??? You are such a treasure to me, that I must be carefully cherish you, but how they ......., I just want to know the reality. I will never be forgotten that I asked you in the bus no.28, "Many girls are surrounding you and chasing you, and so do I, why you accept to be together with me?" It is a regret that your answer is "Because you help me a lot!", It is a deep deep heart attack, deepest that another other before, just like the heart is held by a hand and suddenly squeeze it! VEry hurt.......Then I feel sad for many days but you do not notice it........Just because I help you????? I think the answer will be surrounding me for many many years but I just tried to hide it since you do not like to mention..........Remember a phone from Maisie said I am in unhappiness and tell you about it, but you could find it, but very very upset at the days. I really love you so whenever a day, you do not like me anymore, just tell me straightly and directly, I will leave by myself, no more harassment, I do not want you to be unhappy. You are such a bright and excellent teenager, I hope you will not give me yourself, do not give up the life no matter what happen, OK!!!! Call me and I would be there for you anytime if you need any help! Don't be afraid, even everyone refuse you and I will be the one always accept you. I do not regret for what I am doing and I know clearly of what I have done. So ........ Just take care I send it email 20 years before, these are the words I want to say 20 years ago, at last , just the same word I said to you, Love you forever. Yours truly Jay Lee